This is the story of a young woman just dreaming of a day off. Weekends were nice and coffee breaks got her through, but it was the holidays that made her squeal inwardly with joy.
OK, so it’s not so inwardly. I’ve been professing excitement for the holidays for weeks now. But now that we have a day off to stuff our faces and sleep it all off on Thursday, I couldn’t be more excited. It’s the days leading up to this vacation that are going to drag and drag.
1. Family You Never See Throughout the Year
Getting the family together can either be the best or worst thing about the day. No matter what, you have to say you are thankful that you made it through another year together… or else mom is going to make you sit next to your needy uncle that chews too loudly and asks you about your life plan.
2. The Bird
Turkey. I am so thankful that the pilgrims decided to use this bird in their feast. It has all of the best qualities – it’s a lean meat, it’s hilariously stupid so I don’t feel bad about eating tons of it, and it makes for a glorious, sleepy afternoon. Rock on, Tom.
You just have to accept that you are going to come into work a couple pounds heavier on Monday. Don’t worry. Everyone else will be in the same boat. If they aren’t, it just means they had a horrible holiday.
Speaking of food, that turkey doesn’t just magically appear on the table. Jump in the kitchen and get into the game! If anything, you can Instagram as you pop the rolls in the oven. Make all of your followers think you are domestic.
3. Prepping for Black Friday
Looking through the sale ads is almost more fun that standing in line at Best Buy for three days. Oh, wait, it’s so much better. Then you and your cousins can plan which stores you are going to hit up the next day. Or which stores to completely avoid because you don’t want the madness.
4. Holiday Specials
It’s the beginning of the holiday season! After the turkey leftovers are sealed and the pie is passed around, pour yourself a coffee and put up that tree. Or talk about how excited you are for your eight days of presents. We’ll be preparing our Festivus pole and brainstorming the Airing of the Grievances.
5. Getting the Day Off
Nap at 2 p.m.? I’m going to nap so hard. Watch the entire Macy’s Parade, even when Santa Claus makes his big debut? I have literally nothing better to do. Ignore work emails? Ha, you know where this is going.